Forest Legend

Well hello there! I can't believe it's been a week and a half since I posted last.  Just after my last post celebrating the return of spring flowers to my garden, there was a big April snowstorm. I think it knocked the spring breeze right out of me! I certainly wasn't about to post more snow photos here. I haven't been idle though. I've been painting quite a bit and enjoying myself too.

I've been working on the painting at the top the past few days. It is special in several ways. First of all, it was painted in gouache rather than watercolour. I had a few tubes of rarely used gouache in my painting drawer but have just invested in a wider range of colours. The scene I painted is very special to me. Meeko and I walk on the same forest path all winter long. I thought I had every curve in the path and tree trunk memorized, but no. All of a sudden I came upon this gorgeous tree with a beautiful heart shape on its trunk. I gasped out loud when I saw it off to the side of our path. The heart, the gnarly bark, the gorgeous green lichen all made this tree trunk look more alive than all of the trunks around it. I didn't post the photo I took of it anywhere. I didn't want anyone to take it. I've actually been using it as my desktop image the past few weeks while I gathered the courage to paint it. I chose to use gouache as I wanted it to be a strong painting and for the heart tree to have plenty of character. I put the final few details on it this morning. The image measures 8 x 10 inches and it is painted on 300 lb Arches watercolour paper. There's a close-up of the trunk below. I am calling the painting "Legend has it she gave her heart to the forest".

The day of the snowstorm, I gathered bouquets of crocuses and scilla from the garden just before the snow began to fall. I even plucked some bulbs right out of the ground. (Crazy lady!) I took a crocus bulb because I wanted to paint it. I took several muscari bulbs because I wanted to see if I could force them to bloom a little faster inside the house if I 'planted' them in fish gravel with water up to their roots. It's working!

Here's the crocus painting I started the day of the storm and finished over the next couple of days.  (I'm such a slow painter.) It's painted on gorgeous feather-deckle Twinrocker watercolour paper. I made it complicated for myself by choosing a bulb that had two intertwined stems but I'm happy with the way it turned out. It's the first time I've included a bulb in a painting.

Good news! My flowers all survived the late snow cover. The garden is coming alive again. Leaf buds are swelling. The birds are singing. Here's a pretty little bouquet of botanical tulips I picked yesterday. The blue in the background is scilla. From me to you! Have a lovely week!

My Heart and My Art

I hesitated to write this but it's about something that has taken up a good part of my week, so here it is. I have been waiting over the past week for an answer to something. I applied to be part of an online market. It's not important which one. What I wanted to talk about was my reaction.

First of all, the wait was hard. It's a case of only being contacted when the news is good. That made the wait even harder as I was hoping until the very last moment that maybe I was included and that the response had been delayed. But the answer at this point is definitely no.

And why does that hurt so much? I've been thinking a lot about it the past few days. Why does rejection of our art hurt? I think it's because it is part of us. Whatever we create includes a piece of ourselves. When our art is rejected, someone can say 'Don't take it personally' but it does feel personal.

I know the rational side. My art wasn't a good fit with this particular market. My art doesn't appeal to the curator. They were looking for a different style. That category was full. There are any number of ways I could explain it to myself in a reasonable way.

I know the emotional side. They don't like my work. They didn't pick me. They liked others' work better. My work wasn't good enough. I feel mad. I feel sad. Oh boy! We artists can be hard on ourselves.

I have a trick for when I am having trouble dealing with something. I imagine what I would say if it was one of my daughters having the same problem. It quickly provides perspective. In this case, I would say: "It's okay and understandable to feel a bit sad about the rejection but it is important to remember that it is only the opinion of one person. That needs to be weighed against all of the very positive things that have been happening for your work and the wonderful support it has from people all around the world. Maybe there is something you can learn from this and then you need to move forward."

Well then, that feels better. Doesn't it? Having one person say no doesn't take a thing away from all of the other positive achievements.

This is the photo that accompanied by very first blog post.

Being able to sell art online is wonderful but it's hard too. I remember the knots in my stomach when I made my first blog post. I remember when I put those first few things in my Etsy shop. Unless you are creating only for yourself, there is risk attached to sharing your work with the world. There will be people who like it and people who don't. When I mentioned to a friend that I sometimes wondered if the representational way I paint excludes me from some things, she said that for every style of art there is an audience. She is right. My sales have been increasing lately. I have had sales to places as far away as Greece, Australia and New Zealand. I have lovely customers and have made some wonderful online friends. My shop is being noticed by more people. I am creating new work on an ongoing basis. I am growing as an artist. I am being true to my heart. I am proud of what I produce. I am having fun.

The paintings at the top and bottom are of practice exercises from a course I am taking on botanical borders and hand lettering. Wonderfully therapeutic work to engage the brain while the heart is figuring things out. :)

If there are occasional tears, I think that it is just part of being fully engaged in my art. Have you ever noticed the materials that I list in the 'item details' under my Etsy listings? I list the paper, the ink or paint and then always add 'my heart'. Because it's true, my heart is there. The note that I send with each order confirmation says "Thank you so much for ordering from me! Knowing that you like my artwork puts a smile on my face. :)" If you saw me at my computer when I get a new order or receive a compliment on one of my paintings, you would know that is a fact. I do smile--both inside and out. ❤

When Anyone Talks About Trees

I haven't posted for quite a few days. Chloé had her March break last week. Emma has hers this week. The normal routine of my days has been interrupted not rudely but sweetly by the presence of my daughters in the house.  But it means I haven't painted as much or visited blogs as much or looked after my Etsy shop as much or any number of things as much. It's an adjustment but it's not a bad thing. Maybe it's a reminder to pay attention to the important things.

• I haven't been idle though.
• I've painted a little.
• I worked on a big print of my Lilacs image that a customer is potentially interested in.
• I've walked daily with Meeko (of course).
• I've watched the snow melt the past two days and heard the birds sing and know that spring is on its way.
• I spent a lot of time in the backyard today poo-gathering (one of the "joys" of the spring thaw for dog owners) and got to visit all corners of my garden. There are signs of life despite the fact that everything was covered by snow and ice two days ago. I am always amazed.
• I shopped downtown with Chloé last week, walked daily with her and Meeko, and enjoyed several days of one-on-one time.
• Emma went away for five days to visit friends (the longest she's ever been away) and I was happy for her yet also happy to see her again.
• I did some housecleaning (grumpily) to prepare for the visit of my sister Nancy and her family (not grumpy about that!). They won't be here long but we always love their company.
• I treated myself and bought some gouache paints for a painting I would like to do of a lovely tree with a heart shape on it. It's not the one in the photo above. That is another heart-marked tree I discovered on the same path I take with Meeko every day in the winter. I thought of posting the other photo but it's too special to me so I want to keep it hidden for now and let my painting be the reveal. Now the pressure is on for me to do it. 
• I am reading "The Elegance of the Hedgehog" by Muriel Barberry. I have 50 books (not an exaggeration) beside my night table waiting to be read. I was an English major in university and love books so much. With my slow reading pace these days, that 50-book stack might be a little unreasonable, more like impossible (but I remain optimistic). It took me a long time to get into "The Elegance of the Hedgehog"--maybe even one-third of the book. I am a stubborn reader and am glad for that as I am now loving the book. This passage jumped out at me the other evening and I reread it more than once for the sheer pleasure of it. I love when that happens. And now you know why I chose the photo at the top.

After I'd had a chance to think about it for a while I began to understand why I felt this sudden joy when Kakuro was talking about the birch trees. I get the same feeling when anyone talks about trees, any trees: the linden tree in the farmyard, the oak behind the old barn, the stately elms that have all disappeared now, the pine trees along wind-swept coasts, etc. There's so much humanity in a love of trees, so much nostalgia for our first sense of wonder, so much power in just feeling our own insignificance when we are surrounded by nature...yes, that's it: just thinking about trees and their indifferent majesty and our love for them teaches us how ridiculous we are--vile parasites squirming on the surface of the earth--and at the same time how deserving of life we can be, when we can honor this beauty that owes us nothing.

The Elegance of the Hedgehog

Muriel Barberry

Hearts, Sirens and Hugs

My week began in an ambulance with the siren blaring. Surreal. It still feels like it might have been a dream.

I woke up very early Monday morning feeling ill. I had a pain in my chest. I thought it might be heartburn and took something for it but I couldn't get comfortable. I changed positions many times. Sat up. Laid down. My heart was beating strangely and I could feel a sharp pain under my left shoulder blade. I felt dizzy. I knew that women's heart attack symptoms were different than men's. I hesitated but, in the end, I called 911.

First time ever in an ambulance. The last time I was admitted to a hospital was when Chloé was born over 13 years ago.

It is a scary story with a happy ending.  After several cardiograms, blood tests and a lung x-ray, I was told that my heart was fine as was everything else. All of the tests came back normal. What I had felt that morning was a cluster of symptoms that could be explained by other things (indigestion, palpitations probably due to coffee and hormones, muscular aches, topped off by more than a bit of anxiety).

I spent nine hours staring at a hospital ceiling on Monday. I traced the pattern of those drop ceiling tiles about a million times. No book. No music. Not even my shoes or a coat. What did I think about? My family, my friends, my painting, Meeko. About how caring everyone was with me that day: the ambulance paramedics, the doctor and nurses, my husband and my two girls. I thought about how my husband had left a meeting and rushed home as soon as he heard. I thought about how brave and grownup Emma and Chloé were that morning. I wanted to go home and hug all of them including Meeko. I wasn't worrying about returning emails, making Etsy treasuries or new blog posts, checking my Facebook and Twitter accounts, increasing sales or churning out more prints on my temperamental printer. I was just thinking about what was important.

Amaryllis - work in progress (a mere beginning)

Yesterday when I woke up I felt so different. Lighter. Calmer. More centered. I felt thankful. I felt lucky. I took Meeko for an extra happy walk. I tried to breathe more slowly and deeply as I moved. I appreciated the powdery snow that had fallen the previous day. I got in touch with my relatives. I started a new painting of my beautiful amaryllis. I drank herbal tea in the late afternoon. I bought a pot of fresh basil to make pasta with pesto, potatoes and green beans. I revelled in the basil's beautiful colour and pungent smell as I picked the sprigs and thought about how my garden will be waking up not that long from now.

Maybe we all need a scary story every now and then so that we can put everything else in perspective. Today, nothing is different and yet somehow everything is.

Lines and Connections

Anyone who comes here regularly knows that I love birds, rocks and hearts, and that I really love detail. So maybe this painting was meant to be. First I created a composition. I assembled one of my favourite heart-shaped rocks, a lovely ball of twine and...oh oh...I don't have a real bird nest.  So instead, I made my composition using a not-so-natural-looking decorative bird nest (that dark brown thing in the upper right hand corner of the photo). Then I looked up photos of what a real song sparrow's nest and eggs look like. I chose a song sparrow because they are among our backyard birds. In fact, there's one fellow who often sits in the birch tree just behind our yard and sings his little heart out to me.

My painting was done referring to my composition photo, several reference photos of song sparrow nests and my actual rock and twine. Do you know how many little lines and tiny squiggles there are in a ball of twine or a bird's nest? Let's just say several days' worth.

In my painting, a piece of the bird's nest touches the rock. There are bits of twine woven into the nest and there is a lovely spiral piece of twine that winds its way through the painting. I wanted to convey a sense of connection.  I've titled the painting "This is where my heart lives".

Pictured below is the print that I did of my painting. That took me days as well! After several unsuccessful scans (angled this way and that way), I finally worked from a photo of my painting and have ended up with a print that I am proud of.  I hope you like it too.

Be Still My Spring Heart

My gardener's heart is full this weekend. The first daffodils have bloomed in our backyard. This one is in Chloé's garden plot.  When the girls were young (two and six years old), I gave each of them a small portion of one of the back beds. They chose the spring bulbs and perennials to plant in their section.  Each May, they add annuals to fill in the gaps. It's been interesting to watch their colour choices and planting skills (with a bit of my help) evolve over the years.

And today the leaves on our beautiful Schubert tree (prunus virginiana) are opening! Am I crazy to be so excited every spring?  Things are happening outside of our yard too. The tiny forest behind the park that faces our street now has a soft, green haze--the promise of all of its beautiful leaves opening in the days ahead.

At an art course I took a few years ago, the teacher had us use jewelers' loupes (specialty magnifying glasses) to look at the inside of flowers. Have you ever had a close look? There's a little world inside of each of them.  This striped crocus seems to be harbouring a little tropical forest in its center.

In the photo below are three kinds of botanical tulips.  I love how they open well ahead of the hybridized tulips.  They are short and sweet and very cheerful.

The flowers below are scilla.  I'm not sure that anything could be more beautiful. Their waxy delicacy and that gorgeous periwinkle blue finds a way straight to my heart.  I have a painting sketched out in my studio that I need to start on, but I'm thinking that a painting of scilla may be next on my list.  I cannot stop looking at these photos.  I'll have to cut myself a little miniature bouquet for my studio.

Finally, here's a vagabond daffodil that made its way to just outside of Emma's flower bed. I like how a garden will talk to you and let you know where it would like to grow. 

For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.

William Wordsworth

May your hearts and thoughts this week be filled with daffodils (and scilla and crocuses and tulips and soft green spring leaves...).

January Countdown

I have had a real case of the January blahs.  Does that ever happen to you?  I finally put my finger on what has been bothering me:  nothing in particular and everything in general. Yup, that seems to be it. The good news is that there is only one more day to go until the beginning of a new month.

I had a lovely lift on Saturday.  There was an unexpected knock at the door and a dear, sweet friend was standing there with a bouquet of heart candles for me. Isn't that the nicest thing to do?

You can make them too. Wonderful Margie of Resurrection Fern posted instructions for three beautiful Valentine craft projects including these very candles on the Poppytalk site.  

I love my candles. They even smell nice because of the beeswax.  Now I just need to convince Emma or Chloé to make a beautiful Valentine cake.

Giveaway Winner

The winner of my Pink Heart giveaway is Rebekka Seale.  If you don't know her already, you can look at her beautifully written blog here and her lovely artwork here.

Rebekka, please contact me (kathleenmaunder at gmail.com) and provide me with your mailing address.

Thanks to everyone who participated. Your comments were so appreciated.

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I've enabled a different kind of comment formatting. Now I can reply directly under each comment.  It's a new feature on Blogger so it may have some bugs. I've noticed that the times noted beside the comments are wrong even though my time/date settings are correct. If anyone has any other trouble with them, maybe you can let me know. Hopefully, they will work the bugs out in the near future.

Pink Heart Giveaway (Closed)

I am so excited about my Pink Heart print.  I have just added it to my Etsy shop.  I wasn't sure if my first attempt was a fluke, but I now have been able to print several times successfully on the handmade Saint-Armand watercolour paper.  It takes time and care feeding it through the printer because of its thickness and the deckle edges but the results are absolutely amazing.   I cannot stop staring at these prints. They really look like original watercolours.

Because it is handmade paper, it means that each print is a slightly different, one-of-a-kind work of art.  I wish you could feel the paper.  It is thick, soft, luxurious and has a beautiful grain.  There are four deckle edges.  It is exquisite paper and is made right here in Montreal by the Saint-Armand paper mill.  Do I sound excited?

I have painted on Saint-Armand paper before, but it wasn't until this past weekend that I thought of trying to print on it.

Anyone who has followed my blog for a while knows that I have had an up and down relationship with my printer.  Well today I am a happy woman and I wanted to share the love by giving away one Pink Heart print (the exact one in the top photo).  It measures approximately 6 3/4 x 4 3/4 inches.  I will initial it on the front and then sign and date it on the back.

All you need to do is to leave a comment on this blog post.  I will close comments at 1:00 p.m. EST on Wednesday, January 18, 2012.  I will announce the winner on Wednesday evening.  Thanks so much to everyone for all of your ongoing support. It means so much to me.

I am not responding to each comment the way I normally do as it will be easier for me to do the draw if my comments aren't mixing up the numerical order. I just want everyone to know that I am reading them all and appreciate them so much!

Frosting & Hearts

We have snow and sunshine here today.  What a lovely combination.  Everything looks like it's covered in frosting.

Snowboy

Snowcake

I am having fun experimenting with my printer.  I never thought I'd see the day that I would use the words 'fun' and my 'printer' in the same sentence. :) I'm adding prints to my Etsy shop as I complete them. I added 'Loveknot' this week and will add others in the days ahead.

Loveknot (5 x 7 print on Velvet Fine Art Paper)

The image below isn't in my shop yet but will be soon.  It's called Pink Heart.  I did the original painting many years ago.  This image was one of my most popular images when I was running my Florescence card company fulltime. (My cards used to be carried in stores across North America.) I am completely sold out of the 5 x 7 Pink Heart cards but still have some gift cards that I hope to add to my Etsy shop along with some frameable prints of the image.  Yesterday, I tried printing the Pink Heart on several kinds of real watercolour paper and was blown away by the results. In my hand are two prints:  one on Fabriano paper (bottom) and the other on handmade Saint-Armand paper (top).

I know they are prints but, looking at them, I have trouble believing they are not my original painting. I'll do a bit more experimenting before choosing which version goes into my shop.

The Pink Heart image also has an interesting history.  It was once copied by a big U.S. company. They picked up samples of my cards at the New York Stationery Show where I had a booth. Then they 'created' their own version by changing the details slightly.  They admitted to it when I challenged them on it. They did pay to use some of my other images on their merchandise.

Rocks and Hearts

Some days I think it would be very useful to have a crane, the mechanical sort or the bird.  Either would do but, come to think of it, the bird sounds like more fun. Anyway, I imagine it plucking me from wherever I am and whatever I am doing and placing me gently but decidedly at my work table in my studio.  Oh, how I get caught up in doing other things.  I don't know why it is so hard to climb those stairs some days, as I am always happier once I am up there painting.

This morning I decided to work on a painting that I started when we were in Ogunquit, Maine a couple of summers ago.

I love rocks. I love hearts.  I guess it should be no surprise then that I love heart-shaped rocks.  I originally had two rocks in my painting but found a third small one this morning in my rock collection and so added it to the composition.  They look like they belong together--a family of rocks, a family of hearts. I like the symbolism.

The painting is on paper that I don't often use.  It was in a old, small Canson Montval sketchpad that seemed the right size to pack for our trip.  I quite like the texture of it and the way it handles the paint.  I definitely will use it again.

As I was working today, I was feeling the echoes of another painting I did a long time ago.  I dug it out so that you can see it. It's actually half a painting. I did it from some photos that my brother took many years ago when he worked for a week or so in Pond Inlet, a remote Inuit community on the northern shore of Baffin Island in Nunavut. (He was there as part of his medical residency. He's a psychiatrist.) I was very unhappy with the top part of the painting, the water, so I cut the painting in two.  I don't remember ever having done that before but it worked:  I was happy with the rocks, spent a good deal of time painting them and there was enough interest in them for them to be the focal point.

To give credit where credit is due, my daughter Emma took the photo of me working in my studio.

(I have retaken some of the photos I took yesterday.  I may post them in yesterday's post--a before and after--or in a new one. I'm making some progress working with my new camera.)

Happy

Above is what I consider to be a little bowl of 'happy'.  It's a small dish that I have in my front hallway filled with little, pretty things that make me happy.  There are glass hearts, an Eiffel Tower, beach glass, tiny shells and little stones.  It never looks quite the same.  Something might be taken out or put back in.  I have noticed visitors (kids especially) sifting through it with their fingers.

My sister Nancy (who designs beautiful jewelry that I wear it most days) made a comment this week that she can sense happiness in my paintings lately.  (Thanks, Nance. Your ongoing encouragement means so much to me.)  I am feeling happy lately.  Painting more often, moving forward in a creative direction, starting this blog (which serves the artist and writer in me)--they're all helping me to feel happy and right in my world.  I've actually caught myself singing out loud a few times lately.

I also made progress yesterday on making a digital print of one of my paintings.  This has been a real struggle for me with a huge learning curve attached to it. I am really looking forward to being able to show it to you in the very near future.

So here's my wish for you, my readers -- that you find your own little bowl of 'happy' in the days ahead, whether it be by creating something or doing something you enjoy or being with people you love.

"The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."

Alan Alda

An Archway Fit for a Garden Gnome

Did anyone spot the heart shape in the archway made by the bent rose of sharon shrub in my previous post?  I didn't see it until the post was up. 

I think the garden gnomes will be happy.  I'm going to take it as a sign of more positive things to come. :)