My Heart and My Art

I hesitated to write this but it's about something that has taken up a good part of my week, so here it is. I have been waiting over the past week for an answer to something. I applied to be part of an online market. It's not important which one. What I wanted to talk about was my reaction.

First of all, the wait was hard. It's a case of only being contacted when the news is good. That made the wait even harder as I was hoping until the very last moment that maybe I was included and that the response had been delayed. But the answer at this point is definitely no.

And why does that hurt so much? I've been thinking a lot about it the past few days. Why does rejection of our art hurt? I think it's because it is part of us. Whatever we create includes a piece of ourselves. When our art is rejected, someone can say 'Don't take it personally' but it does feel personal.

I know the rational side. My art wasn't a good fit with this particular market. My art doesn't appeal to the curator. They were looking for a different style. That category was full. There are any number of ways I could explain it to myself in a reasonable way.

I know the emotional side. They don't like my work. They didn't pick me. They liked others' work better. My work wasn't good enough. I feel mad. I feel sad. Oh boy! We artists can be hard on ourselves.

I have a trick for when I am having trouble dealing with something. I imagine what I would say if it was one of my daughters having the same problem. It quickly provides perspective. In this case, I would say: "It's okay and understandable to feel a bit sad about the rejection but it is important to remember that it is only the opinion of one person. That needs to be weighed against all of the very positive things that have been happening for your work and the wonderful support it has from people all around the world. Maybe there is something you can learn from this and then you need to move forward."

Well then, that feels better. Doesn't it? Having one person say no doesn't take a thing away from all of the other positive achievements.

This is the photo that accompanied by very first blog post.

Being able to sell art online is wonderful but it's hard too. I remember the knots in my stomach when I made my first blog post. I remember when I put those first few things in my Etsy shop. Unless you are creating only for yourself, there is risk attached to sharing your work with the world. There will be people who like it and people who don't. When I mentioned to a friend that I sometimes wondered if the representational way I paint excludes me from some things, she said that for every style of art there is an audience. She is right. My sales have been increasing lately. I have had sales to places as far away as Greece, Australia and New Zealand. I have lovely customers and have made some wonderful online friends. My shop is being noticed by more people. I am creating new work on an ongoing basis. I am growing as an artist. I am being true to my heart. I am proud of what I produce. I am having fun.

The paintings at the top and bottom are of practice exercises from a course I am taking on botanical borders and hand lettering. Wonderfully therapeutic work to engage the brain while the heart is figuring things out. :)

If there are occasional tears, I think that it is just part of being fully engaged in my art. Have you ever noticed the materials that I list in the 'item details' under my Etsy listings? I list the paper, the ink or paint and then always add 'my heart'. Because it's true, my heart is there. The note that I send with each order confirmation says "Thank you so much for ordering from me! Knowing that you like my artwork puts a smile on my face. :)" If you saw me at my computer when I get a new order or receive a compliment on one of my paintings, you would know that is a fact. I do smile--both inside and out. ❤